Forbidden
by Beximus
Summary: Catherine wonders whether to give in to the forbidden... G/C
1. Chapter 1

Forbidden

G/C

By Bec

Disclaimer:  These are not my characters, so don't have a go.  I just borrow them to relieve the boredom…

Archive:  The Graveyard Shift (thanks guys, you're the best!)

1              

"Did you ever fall in love with someone you shouldn't have?"

Catherine took another nervous sip of her coffee whilst waiting for her sister to answer her question.

"No, but I can tell you did."

"What, not even a little bit?"

"No."  Nancy smiled at her.  "Lust yeah, plenty of times.  Love?  No."

"And you knew it was just lust."

"Of course.  It went away after a while.  If it was love, it would never go away."  She grinned, checking on the kids over on the swings before returning her attention to her sister.  "So, do I have to guess this mystery guy, or are you going to tell me."

                Catherine hesitated.  "It's, uh, no one you know."

"Right."  Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.  "So how do you know you're in love with mystery guy?"

"Because…"  She stopped.  Was it something she could actually put her finger on?  Would Nancy understand?  "I just feel it.  Whenever I'm near him, my mind just seems to shut down, and my body is on fire."  She smiled at the thought.  Nancy laughed.

"You got it bad, girl.  How long has this been going on."

"Oh, a while."

"How long?" she asked again, a little more forcefully than before.

"Truthfully?  Years and years."

                They sat in silence for a while, watching all of the children in the park running around like idiots, using all of their abundance of energy.  Lindsey saw her Mom and Aunt watching and so she waved before heading off for the slide.

"So why shouldn't you be in love with him?"  Nancy asked, a knowing look on her face.

Catherine sighed.  She had hoped that Nancy had forgotten that bit.

"The situation is all wrong.  A long time ago, our circumstances stopped us from doing anything.  I was married to Eddie, he was working hard, and it wouldn't have been right for us to do anything."

"Says who?"

"You know."

"I don't.  Why don't you tell me."

                "It was difficult.  People would have made it difficult for us."

"I see."  She did see.  Catherine gave out the impression that she was a very strong woman, and generally she was, but she had this great insecurity when it came to love.  She had been like it all her life, but Eddie had made it worse.  "So you decided to…"

"We were friends.  That seemed fine."

"Except you don't seem to be fine with it."

"I never felt this way about Eddie.  I loved him, but not this much.  I can't hide it from myself anymore and it's eating me alive."

                "Does he feel the same way?"

"I never found out."  Catherine looked into her cup forlornly.  She had dreamed about him loving her that much, about what would happen between them, but she had never had the courage to find out.

                "Do you know what I would do, Cath?"

"What?"  She found it hard to imagine her happily married sister to know what the solution was, but Nancy had always been the one with the most common sense out of the two of them, and she had always been happy to advise Catherine.

"I think that if you feel this way, and it's obviously eating you up, then you should stuff everything and take the plunge."

"You mean go tell him how I feel?"

"Exactly.  You may find yourself pleasantly surprised."

"But it's awkward…"

"Catherine Willows, go and do something for yourself for a change.  Don't care about what other people will say.  All that matters is you and him."

"I'm scared that I'll lose him for good."

"Follow your heart.  You won't lose."

                Catherine wandered what it was her sister really knew, but she felt in her heart that she was right.  She was not young anymore, she did not want to be alone anymore, and she knew that there was only one person she wanted, and would ever want.

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?"  That was her real fear.  That she would lay her feelings on the line and she would not get his love back.  The thought was killing her.

"Can you risk not knowing?  Can you risk not feeing yourself in his arms, or sleeping in his bed.  What about if you never feel him kiss you.  Could you live with yourself if you never tried?"

                "No, I couldn't."  Her voice was quiet.  She had to go and do it.

Nancy read her mind.  "Go now.  I'll explain to Linds."

"Thank you."  She hugged her sister before standing.  "I owe you one."

"Just go get him, that'll be enough for me."  She watched Catherine walk away.  "Oh, Cath," she called after her, a huge grin on her face.

"Yeah?"

"Tell Gil I send my love."

                Catherine could not help but laugh at the fact her sister knew who it was all along.  She had probably not been all that obvious about it, but her sister knew her.  She headed off to her car, ready to drive to his townhouse and bear her soul to him.


	2. Chapter 2

See Chapter 1 for info.

2

                "Well this is a pleasant surprise."

"Gil, sorry.  I didn't mean to wake you.  I can come back if you want.  It wasn't important or anything, but you know…"

"Cath."

"What?"  She stared at him.  He had just gotten out of bed and stood there dressed only in a pair of pyjama trousers.  His hair was all ruffled up, and his eyes behind his glasses still showed signs of sleep.  He looked absolutely gorgeous.

"You're rambling."  His voice brought her back to reality.  He watched as she tried to find something to say.  "Why don't you come in.  I'll put some coffee on." 

                He smiled as she made her way in through the door.  Something big was obviously on her mind.  It was the only time that she rambled.  He watched as she removed her jacket and placed it on the arm of the couch.  She had an impeccable dress sense, he thought to himself as he finally moved into the kitchen.  Today she wore a sleeveless black top with tan trousers.  He looked up from the pot to see her wondering aimlessly around the lounge area.

"Cath.  Sit down."  She looked up at him, embarrassed to be caught and he smiled at her, trying to put her at ease.  She immediately sat down on the nearest chair, her legs suddenly weak.  God, how she loved that smile.  She wondered if he knew what it did to her.

                "Now what can I do for you today?" he asked, setting two mugs down on the table and sitting down next to her.  She looked at him, trying to remember how to breathe.  His close proximity was shutting down all her systems.  It had never affected her this badly, but lately he made all of her nerve endings tingle with anticipation.  Nancy was right, she did have it bad.

"I wanted to talk to you, ok."

"Ok.  Anything you want."  He took a drink from his mug.  "Take your time."

                "That's just it Gil.  I'm fed up of taking my time.  That's been my problem all along, and quite frankly, I don't have all the time that I thought I did."  Her voice was becoming angrier and Grissom began to worry.

"Catherine, what's wrong?  Are you sick?  What's going on?"

"No," she replied, a little calmer.  "I'm not sick."

"Then what's the problem?"  He looked confused.  It made him look even sexier than before.  Catherine shook her head.

"Ok.  I'm just going to come right out and say it, ok?"

"Ok."

"I want to make sure you're ready for this."

"I'm ready…"

"Because you know, this is really important to me…"  Her voice was rising in volume.

"Catherine!"  He grabbed her arms to attract her attention.  Her rambling was frustrating him and he wanted her to reveal whatever it was that was getting her so flustered.  "What?"

"I love you," she shouted at him, realising at the end that she had shouted at him.

"You do?"  He was stunned.  Ecstatically happy, elated even, but still stunned.  He never imagined he would hear her say that to him anywhere other than in his dreams.

                "Yes.  I couldn't go on anymore without telling you.  It's eating me up inside, Gil."

He sat watching her, his hands still gripping her arms.

"You don't feel it back, do you?"  Her eyes dropped.  He had not realised that any time had passed without him replying, but enough had to make her think that he was going to turn her away.

"Here," he told her, before leaning over and pushing his lips against hers, kissing her like he had always imagined he would.  She moaned against him and opened her lips to allow access to his tongue and it's exploration.  She pulled away and pressed her lips against his neck, gently kissing the skin she found.

                "God, Cath.  I've always loved you, I just…" he paused as she found a sensitive spot, and moaned.  "I just never thought you felt the same way."

"Then we're both idiots."  She brought her fingers down to his stomach and lay her hand against his skin, smiling as she felt the muscles spasm at her touch.

"Do you have any idea what that does to me?"  he asked, his breath hard.  She moved her hand down lower.

"I think I have a pretty good idea."  She brought her lips back to his, kissing hard.  She removed them only for the few seconds it took him to remove her top.

                He brought his hands up to her breasts and gently caressed them, making her groan into his mouth.  Her revenge was to slip her hand down into his pants, wrapping her fingers around his arousal. 

"Catherine," he moaned.  He grabbed her shoulders and lay back on the couch, pulling her down on top of him.  She brought her lips to his chest, kissing him lightly.  She could feel his breath quicken under her lips, and she latched onto one of his nipples, sucking at it.  That, together with her hand began to bring him towards the edge.

"If you keep that up, I won't last much longer," he rasped, trying to catch his breath.  "And you're wearing far too many clothes."

She smiled against his chest.  "So I am."  She sat up, straddling his thighs, and she reached around to unhook her bra.  His hands grasped her breasts the moment they came into view.  He could not take his eyes from her as she reached down to undo her zip, repositioning herself over and over until the rest of her clothes ended up on the floor, her breasts still encased inside Gil's warm, strong hands.  "Now who's overdressed."

"Me.  I need you.  Please kiss me," he pleaded.  Catherine became even more attracted to him at his unashamed vulnerability, and she leant down to kiss him, this time leading with her tongue which he hungrily accepted.

                She reached down and hooked her fingers into the elastic of his pyjamas, pushing them down.  He thrust his hips up, allowing her to push them off him, feeling how aroused he was.  It was almost more than she could take.

"I want you, Gil," she breathed, her lips finding his once again.  Now that they were both naked, there was nothing left to stop them except themselves.

"I'm yours," he replied.  "I'm yours Catherine."

                She lowered herself down onto his erection, unable to wait any longer to feel him inside her.  She had waited so many years already.  She moaned as she thrust her way down until he filled her, and began to move, lifting herself up and down, meeting his hips as he thrust himself up into her.  She kissed him hard, her tongue matching his thrusts, and she knew she was close to orgasm.  It already felt better than any sex she had ever had, and it had not even finished yet.

                He could not speak, but he wanted to.  He wanted to tell her how he felt, how close he was to exploding inside her, but every time he tried, it came out as a strangled moan.  She felt so good around him.  He pushed his hips up harder, wanting to bury himself in her.

"God, Gil," she breathed.  "I love you."  That was all it took.  He could feel himself explode, letting himself come inside her, all of the tension and the fear flowed out with his release.  She came along with him, calling his name over and over until she collapsed down on his chest, leaving him inside.

                They lay there unmoving for a while, the only sounds were of their breath.  She lay in his arms, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, feeling more comfortable than she ever had before.  It was so right to be here.  Why she had not tried this earlier was beyond her right now, along with all real conscious thought.  She was brought back to the real world with the feel of his lips against her head.

"I love you," he said, the tone of his voice supporting his words.  She smiled.

"I love you too.  We should have done this a long time ago."

"Then we really are idiots."  He laughed.

"I never thought we could.  I never thought I was allowed to tell you."

"Catherine, with me, you can do anything.  You've always been able to.  I've just never been able to tell you."

                "How long do we have until work?"  She asked, afraid that this would all end.

"Hours," he replied.  There was no way he was going to let her out of his sight anytime soon.

"Great.  How about we aim for your bed."

"Fine."  He waited until she reluctantly pulled herself from him before he stood and carried her to his room.  It had only been forbidden love because they had made it that way.  Now they could make it anything they wanted to, and no one could stop them.


End file.
